Silly season

Five things to avoid during your end of year celebrations

With the exam season over there’s an end of term feeling in the air, but don’t let silly season get the better of you. Condor Properties explains what to avoid as the curtain falls on the academic year…

Breaching student teacher protocol

Trying to pull your lecturer – who ultimately will be the one marking your work – is never a good idea. Just ask Nathan Willets, who after a few drinks at an end-of-year party, tried to woo his lecturer into going on a date. “I genuinely thought she might say yes,” explains the former journalism student. “She was being pretty coquettish.”

But instead of accepting his offer, she rebuffed him in the cruellest way possible. “She said if I thought about my essay writing as much as my chat-up lines, I’d do better next year.”

Expensive cost cutting

Eyeing up a summer in Europe, Glen Williams decided to save money on his last night out by fleeing from a moving taxi. “We were stopped at traffic lights, but by the time I plucked up courage to bail, the car had started moving,” says the former Exeter student. Fortunately Glen managed to hobble home, where he found the taxi driver waiting at his front door. “I forgot that I’d given him my address,” he blushes. Glen was then driven to an ATM several miles away and wound up paying a much higher fare. “I also ripped my favourite jeans,” he says. “Guess that was karma.”

Streaking

After losing a fantasy football bet with his pals, Chris Spencer was forced to streak at his university ball as a forfeit. “I had to run around one of the music tents naked, but by the time I’d done the full lap my pals had disappeared with my clothes,” he says.

While everyone else was in a smart suit, Chris blushed in his birthday suit. “Fortunately someone gave me their jacket to preserve my dignity, until my mates returned,” he says. “It wasn’t the warmest night either, if you know what I mean.”

Ill-conceived hangover cures

At the end of term Ben Thomas enthusiastically helped pals drink the student union dry – a decision he later regretted. “When I got home the room was spinning,” says the French student. “In my drunken state I remembered reading that milk helped settle your stomach, so I went to the fridge and guzzled a pint of the stuff which immediately made me sick.” The next day Ben went back to the fridge to make a cup of coffee and noticed the milk was six days out of date. “I was actually drinking sour milk,” he says. “It even had lumps in, but I was too drunk to notice.”

Vomiting in your handbag

Charlotte Stevenson was similarly inebriated after her last night out at university and found herself coming over a little queasy on the night bus home. “I knew I wouldn’t make it off the bus in time,” she says. “So I’m ashamed to say I opened my handbag and was sick in there.” In the reflection of a window, Charlotte then noticed a guy she fancied sitting behind her. “He came and asked me if I was alright, which is ironic because I’d been looking for an excuse to talk to him,” she says. “That was the last conversation we had.”